As we were about to start class today we got the news that Elizabeth Warren dropped out from the race, talk about perfect timing (not). My heart sank and I got a little choked up. True to our candidate's nature and her campaign we "persisted" through class (which started with playing Frozen's 'Next Right Thing', a reoccurring theme from NH) and some of us went to lunch after to lick our wounds together. While that temporarily lifted my spirits they were quickly dampened with the cesspool that is social media.
This one hurts. A lot.
Working your heart out for a candidate makes the sting all that much more unbearable. All the door-knocking, the phone calls, the early mornings and late nights, the town halls. It puts so much more at stake. Meeting her was a defining moment, she was sweet, genuine, and compassionate. I am grateful I got to thank her and hug her. While I don't remember what I said I know I thanked her profusely, hopefully coherently. It just made everything more solidified and real to me.
I remember my professor asking me in October when I was expressing interest in this class what candidate I wanted to work for and without hesitation I answered, "Elizabeth Warren." My feelings never changed and have never wavered. She is not a flawless candidate and there is not a single one that is. She is the real deal and this countries greatest loss.
I obviously knew this was coming after Super Tuesday and I had the feeling of existential dread since that night but did not make hearing that news any less sad. I am disheartened for the little girls who, yet again, will not see a woman make it to the Oval Office. I am frustrated for the women who have paved the way before me who will, yet again, just see the glass-ceiling only crack, never shatter. I am vexed that once again sexism and misogyny prevail in this country. Watching her interview earlier today when she said the hardest part was the pinky promises she made and how those little girls would have to wait a little bit longer. I just lost it, it is heart breaking because we were this close (AGAIN) only for America to let us down. If Hillary couldn't and Elizabeth couldn't, then who can? That's the question I have. I am tired of people saying we aren't ready for a woman, if I hear this impudent sentiment one more time I will scream. How can so many qualified women not get the job done? I have no answers for you, I just do not get it. If Elizabeth Warren was a man she would be winning the primary right now. Sexism was a huge factor in this race and you cannot tell me different. In the words of T-Swift, if she were the man then she'd be the man.
As of right now I do not feel like persisting, I do not feel like dreaming big or fighting hard, I do not feel like choosing courage over fear. I am scared like hell and I feel like sitting on the floor and crying. But I know that is not what Elizabeth Warren would want. She would want me to keep studying for my Constitutional Law midterm (that I stopped doing to write this), get an A on it, go to law school and become a lawyer to fight for the people like she has and does.
I don't think I'll ever get over what happened to Elizabeth Warren and I don't know if this feeling of hopelessness will go away because things look pretty bleak right now. If you're in the same boat as me, give yourself time to grieve and be sad. It's okay and we will pick the ball back up and our tears will dry. Tomorrow is a new day and we must move forward even if we don't really feel like it and do the next right thing.
I leave you with this, from Senator Warren's interview with Rachel Maddow:
"We can't lose hope with this. We can't lose hope because the only way we make change is we get back up tomorrow and we get back in the fight- we persist."
This is my mood
My two future presidents.
The only thing to bring me joy in the last 48 hours.
Beautifully written Rebecca. Keep on keeping on. Way to be.
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